Niba uteganya gusaba umukobwa mukundana ko azakubera umugore, mukabana, kumenya niba witeguye koko gushaka ni icya kabiri cyo gutsinda urugamba . Ugomba ariko kumenya niba umukobwa mukundana muzabana rugakomera, urugo rwanyu ukarugiriramo ibyishimo n’umunezero.

Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije kugira ngo wiyemeze gushaka umugore cyangwa umugabo. Hari n’indi mico y’umukunzi wawe uba ugomba kwitegereza no kwitondera kugira ngo ufate icyemezo.

Hari imico imwe n’imwe umukobwa mukundana ashobora kuba afite ,ikaba ari ibimenyetso bikuburira ko atazavamo umugore muzima,ushobotse muzabana akaramata.

Tugiye kurebera hamwe ibimenyetso byakugaragariza ko umukobwa mukundana azavamo umugore mubi,wawundi bavuga urutwa na gereza.

1.Aguca ku nshuti n’abavandimwe

Umukobwa uba udashaka ko ugirana ibihe byiza n’inshuti zawe,mugasabana,wa mukobwa uba utifuza ko ugenderera umuryango wawe ,akababazwa n’uko hari icyiza wabakorera cyane cyane kubafasha ku byerekeranye n’umutungo,ntuzatekereze ko nimubana aribwo azahinduka.

2.Iyo bigukomeranye uramubura

Umukobwa mukundana, iyo ibihe bikubanye bibi ntimuba muri kumwe. Mu buzima ntabwo ibintu bihora bigenda uko ubyifuza. Hari igihe ibibazo bikubana byinshi, ukabura epfo na ruguru. Iyo ubukungu bwifashe nabi umukobwa mukundana iyo ari mubi(ku mutima) ntimuba mukivuga rumwe. Iyo umaze kubyigobotoramo, ukagira intambwe utera runaka aho muba bamwe. Urukundo akaruguhundagazaho. Ese ko ibihe biha ibindi, nimugera mu rugo rwanyu ibintu bigahinduka muzabasha kumvikana? Ni ukuvuga ko afite icyo agukurikiyeho kitari urukundo.

3.Nta ntego agira mu buzima

Ubusanzwe umusore wese aba yifuza gushaka umugore ufite intego runaka kandi nibura uzamufasha kugera ku ntambwe ifatika mu gihe kizaza. Ikizakubwira ko umukobwa mukundana azavamo umugore mubi ni uko mu mutwe we nta kintu apangira ahazaza. Kuri we iyo bwakeye biba ari ibyo kandi ahanini mwene aba bakobwa baba bategereje kuzarambiriza ku mugabo. Inshingano zose akaziguharira.

4.Aragutegeka

N’ubwo mutarabana ariko aba ashaka ko ukora ibyo ashaka, ujya aho yumva yifuza, kukuyobora mu biganiro mugirana..ko ukora ibyo we yumva bimunyuze. Ngaho re! Ko bitangiye kare ubwo nimugera mu rwanyu bizagenda bite?Ko abashakanye babanira kuzuzanya no kujya inama mugakora ibibafitiye inyungu nta kwikunda kubayeho bizacura iki nimugera mu rugo? Ntazakwitegekera ukabura ayo ucira nayo umira?

5.Aguca inyuma

Umukobwa se uguca inyuma mukiri n’ingaragu nimugera mu rwanyu nibwo iyo ngeso azayicikaho? Yego uba ubona utamuhara cyane urebeye ku bwiza bwe ndetse ukibwira ko uzamuhindura ariko iki ni ikimenyetso cy’uko ushobora kuzabaho ubabaye mu rugo rwawe kubera umugore w’umushurashuzi. Ubwiza sibwo bwubaka urugo. Hari benshi babugendeyeho birengagiza ingeso kuri ubu bakaba bicuza.

6.Mu buriri ntimuhuza

Ubusanzwe umusore n’inkumi bemerwa gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina nyuma y’uko bamaze kubihererwa uburenganzira n’amategeko ndetse n’idini. N’ubwo bimeze gutyo ariko muri iyi minsi biragoye kubona abantu babana batararyamana. Niba rero mwararyamanye (n’ubwo ari icyaha kandi mukaba mutari mubyemerewe), mukaba mudahuza kuri iyo ngingo mu rugo rwanyu witegure guhangana n’ibibazo. Uguhuza cyangwa ukudahuza mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro bigira ingaruka nziza cyangwa mbi ku mibanire yanyu.

7.Arafuha ku buryo bukabije

N’ubwo gufuha mu buryo buringaniye biba ari ngombwa mu rukundo, gufuha ku buryo bukabije bikurura umwuka mubi hagati y’abakundana. Niba umukobwa mukundana atifuza ko uvugana n’abandi bakobwa, ko utagirana umubano uwo ari wo wose n’igitsina gore aho kiva kikagera, ni ukuvuga ko atakwizera . Kwambikana impeta sibyo bizazana icyizere cyangwa ngo bikemure uko gufuha kwe gukabije.

8. Ntajya yemera amakosa

Mu buzima nta muntu udakosa. Kwemera ikosa igihe hari aho wakosheje ndetse ukabisabira imbabazi ntibigabanya icyubahiro wari ufite, ntibikuraho ubwiza n’uburanga wari usanganywe,..Niba rero iyo agukoshereje atajya yemera amakosa ye ahubwo akakurusha uburakari, ntutegereze ko bizahinduka nimubana.

Iyi ni imwe mu mico ishobora kukugaragariza ko umukobwa mukundana ndetse wenda muteganya kubana ashobora kutazavamo umugore mwiza nkuko ubyifuza. Niba na we hari indi mico uzi cyangwa ubona yatuma umukobwa runaka azavamo umugore udashobotse,shyira igitekerezo cyawe ahabugenewe.

Ntimukunze guhuza

SRC: Rwandamagazine

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