Abantu benshi bafata urukundo mu ngeri nyinshi ndetse bakanaruha ubusobanuro butandukanye bitewe n’inyungu baba babifitemo. Ni muri urwo rwego rero usanga abenshi bibwira ko urukundo ari ugukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ndetse akenshi n’abenda kuzabana ugasanga baryamanye mbere y’uko basezerana.

Ibi akenshi rero biterwa n’ubusobanuro abakundana baba bahaye ijambo urukundo ndetse bigakurikirwa n’ingaruka nyinshi kuko hari igihe umwe aba amaze kugera ku cyo yashakaga bityo agasigara afata wa mugenzi we nk’abandi bose cyangwa uko yishakiye.

Ikibazo cyakunze kugaragara cyane n’icy’abaryamana mbere y’uko basezerana imbere y’amategeko cyangwa no mu itorero kandi ari yo gahunda nyamukuru bari bafitanye. Aha, inzobere mu bijyanye n’umubano Matthew Hussey, yatangaje itandukaniro hagati y’urukundo rugamije kuryamana n’urukundo rugamije kubana cyangwa ruzaramba.

Uyu mushakashatsi avuga ko hari uburyo bwinshi umukobwa ashobora kwereka umuhungu ko amukunda ariko bataryamanye. Ibi ngo umukobwa agomba kubikora atagendeye ku idini asengeramo, cyangwa indi myizerere runaka ahubwo akabikora kuko afite intego runaka.

1. Kwereka uwo musore ko umurutishije abandi.

Umukobwa weretse uwo bakundana ko amukunda kuruta abandi, bituma uwo musore nawe amwitaho ndetse akanamurwanira ishyaka. Aha uyu mushakashatsi avuga ko umusore asaba umukobwa ko baryamana bitewe n’uburyo abona yitwara mu bandi.

2. Kwisanzura ku bandi bahungu ariko mu buryo butabangamiye uwo mukundana.

Iyo umukobwa yisanzurana n’abandi barimo abahungu ku buryo bukabije, uwo bakundana atangira kubona ko ari umuntu usanzwe bityo bikaba byanamuha urwaho rwo kumubwira ibyo yishakiye.

3. Kubanza kumva ko imibonano atari yo ijya mbere.

Iyo umukobwa yinjiye mu rukundo afite intego imwe yo kubaka urukundi rurambye, biroroha cyane kubyumvisha uwo bakundana. Aha na none, uyu mushakashatsi avuga ko iyo umuntu yinjiye mu rukundo afite intego zirenze imwe, byanze bikunze iyo bahurijeho ni yo iza imbere mu gushyirwa mu bikorwa.

4. Gusangira no kumuha umwanya uhagije wo kuganira.

Iyo uwo mukundana abona umwanya uhagije wo kuganira, abasha kumenya ibyo ukunda n’ibyo wanga kuko muba mwaganiriye ku bintu bitandukanye ndetse rimwe na rimwe akanamenya ibijyanye n’imyizerere yawe.

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